Stats: Josh recently moved from L.A. to a location down the street from me. He is educated and witty. I met Josh on a website for homosexuals. It took me days to find this website because without looking you wouldn't think homosexuals were associated with so many happy people. The website is gay.com. Josh has proven to have a great sense of humor. Case in point he is Indian and when I asked if he was a dot Indian or feather Indian he reacted without offense. He is a dot Indian. Already Josh has given me his stats. He does cardio at 3am because it's the only time when he can meditate and enjoy no one in the work out area. Although he has informed me of them, has not shown any photos of private parts. He has one photo of his face on this happy site. Josh insists that he is shy, which is why it has taken a week of text messages to meet him for coffee.
Tonight I will meet Josh for coffee and I have decided to work on my conversational skills. When the conversation dwindles and there is nothing more to talk about I will ask him something about his life to seem as though I am interested in him. I will work on listening and finding ways to get him to open up. I will see how listening and engaging him in conversation can break down the shy barrier he has. I am also going to work on raising barriers and not putting the focus of the date on me. I will do what I can to deflect conversation back to him. My goal is to have a conversation at Starbucks for at least one hour.
Post analysis:
I would call the date a success from the parameters set for conversation and length. We spent over an hour chatting about various subjects. At first he seemed timid and uninterested, later I saw he was nervous. Nervous on a date? Who does that? Maybe it's just a homosexual thing.
I figure I would begin the date by arriving at Starbucks early. I would set up the environment so that it was inviting and interesting. I ordered a fluffy tea drink and brought another man. H's love tea and threesomes. Well the other man was Thomas Jefferson and he spent the whole time watching us and teaching us about leadership. He arrived and grabbed a drink and sat down. His iced latte confirmed that his name was Josh.
We chatted about various subjects and eventually started to find commonalities between us. He doesn't watch television or movies but he has seen all of Will and Grace and could discuss Six Feet Under and all Tarantino movies. Hmmmm. At many points during the date the conversation dipped just a little. A couple of times I was more interested in his eyes. He had allergies and when he looked up, his hat ceased from shading the redness (ok I thought his eyes were cute!). I told one scandalous story from my post-college years but refrained from anything else that would project me as a frat boy. I focused on his family and life here. We were playful in speech, or maybe he does have a sling device that has an alarm so his niece and nephew don't touch it. In the middle of the conversation he said I looked cute. I replied a quote from the gay handbook "Oh I just threw this on!" Little did he know I was brushing my hair down for hours because I haven't had a hair cut in 3 months! After discussing movies and getting near the end of the date he told me his apartment was around the corner but he doesn't hookup. What does that mean? Doesn't hookup. Urban Dictionary suggests that he meant he doesn't get me a free stuff, deal or sleep together on the first date. I guess he assumed I wanted relations. I said no problem I wasn't looking for sex (good save huh!). He confirmed that he doesn't invite people over on the first date but perhaps he would love to have me over to watch this movie I chatted about "Paris, Je T'aime" and watch a Tarantino movie.
We headed out to the parking lot, Josh, myself and Tom in my back pocket. He pointed out his apartment window and I replied, well I know where to climb later tonight! He laughed without making it sound like I was stalking him. If only he knew he was homework. Maybe he might be on an exam who knows.
This experience got me to thinking, do homosexuals want to hookup after a good date. When conversation flows and the loans start to spark, is the bedroom the next stop? I wonder how many of them hookup even if the conversation is uneventful but the package is on cruise control. There were several moments when we discussed movies and things that I never felt like I wanted sexo with him. I wouldn't have minded footsies but still I just enjoyed being able to converse and find myself focusing on having the conversation move instead of "does he like me?!"
There is one note to the date. I did let him know that my one quirk is that every year i see one or two random naked people. He informed me that wherever he goes, the homeless person picks him out for a donation. With our powers combined, walking side by side in a downtown area, we should be seeing a lot of homeless naked people.
Homework Grade:
Paul: A-
Jorge: 90%
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