Running with Jesus

Stats: Jesus resided in San Diego and enjoys hiking.  He has had a couple of serious relationships over the last ten years but has recently become single.  In searching for friendship, Jesus has turned to homosexual dating websites to find someone to run and hike with.  I didn't realize homosexuals were so outdoorsy.  I never came across him during my years in San Diego, but recently discovered him online searching for a running buddy.  I answered his profile and went from there.  Since it was supposed to rain we decided to meet for coffee instead and possibly go for a run along the river.  I decided to focus on general conversation skills since we would be running side by side for a long time.

Post Analysis:

I was a little apprehensive going to meet him, mostly because of the weather.  It was windy, slightly rainy, sort of cold, just a mediocre wanna be winter day at the end of April.  By now throngs of homosexuals should be at nude beaches and outdoor patios at homosexual bars with happy hours that start at 8am and end at 7:59 am.  Jesus the homosexual (Jesus isn't his real name, however when I asked him to text me his first text was "This is Jesus.") and I met at a cafe near a river entrance.  We decided to leave the pussy homosexual tendencies aside, fear no rain and go for a run along the river.  First we would meet for coffee.

I arrived at the coffee joint listed in google - it was a cafe, as in restaurant that serves coffee to its seated patrons.  Jesus was late in arriving.  I texted him that the place wouldn't work so he picked me up and we headed to starbucks.  The rain was misting down, so my hair was moist but not wet.  Going in starbucks Jesus headed straight to the bathroom.  Maybe he too was assuming that we would "hookup?"  I went to the counter and ordered, wondering why he didn't say "can you get me a . . . " or "would you like me to get this?"  So I just assumed he was more focused on releasing his private parts instead of purchasing brownie points . . . I mean coffee.  As I waited for mine, Jesus came out of the bathroom, looking relieved (and slightly ethnic, maybe mexican, maybe asian - I wondered) he ordered a drink and was denied.  His card was declined.  I thought for a second I feel stupid I brought just 5 dollars and no card and here I am unable to be a gentleman.  He thought "Here I am Jesus and my card doesn't work, on top of this i am ethnic and it makes me look like a shaddy unibomber from Columbia."  The barrista made his drink and gave it to him on the house.  He either felt sorry for him or thought Jesus was cute.  Personally I think Jesus used his powers on him and they were working on me.

We headed to a gas station to attempt his card and it was declined again.  He called the bank, as i patiently waited sipping my latte, and found they has discontinued his card and didn't inform him that Chase no longer used Mastercard, they now use Visa and all cards will be replaced.  I felt sorry for the guy cause little did he know he really was on a date and he was winning points in the most round-a-bout way!

We headed back to my car and parked them near the entrance to the river.  It was raining and i had a jacket that was soaking up water like a sponge.  He offered his water resistant jacket in his car.  Bonus points.  Please note, some homosexuals are gentlemen, this one in particular might not buy you coffee but he'll protect you from the rain.

We headed for the trail, dodging wind and rain.  At first we didn't run, in fact we speed walked the entire way.  During the walk we went past a bathroom with a homeless man coming out.  Jesus never blinked once to go in the bathroom and utilize it the way homosexuals do.  There were many secluded grassy nulls next to the river, Jesus led the way through hilly dirt trails but never once decided to suggest the nasty.  I even decided to relieve myself in the bushes, Jesus ran to a top of a mound and looked the other way.  I guess my water wasn't going to be turned into wine.

We saw so much wildlife, ducks, geese, ducklings, deer and students.  We stopped to look at the flowers, went by way of hidden trails, we walked along the paths and made paths of our own.  For over two hours we walked up and down the river chatting away.  The spontaneous choice to head to the river for a run turned out to be such a great experience.  The rain dwindled away.  Despite being wet, it wasn't cold or gloomy.  The sun peeped out from time to time, causing the ripples in the river to smile.

As we returned I suggested that this might be a date!  He texted me asking my intentions.  I told him I had none.  I told him I had a great time just doing that.  Having someone to run with, not feel the complications of impressing each other, just talk and maybe if something comes up, it does.  For now we shall grant him scores that qualify him for a second date, ie another run.

Score:

Paul: B+
Jorge: